How to break into a conversation at a business network meeting

I know breaking into a conversation is easier said than done, but I hope to make it easier by giving you some valuable insight. I personally love networking, may it be during a social event or a business event, the fact that there is an opportunity to meet somebody new is beneficial enough to warrant networking. In this post, we’re going to discuss business networking.

Network meetings, however, do come with their own difficult issues which can make you either very uncomfortable or worse, ignorant of your surrounding space. Most people who attend network meetings are probably in a similar behavioural mindset to each other. Meaning, attend the meeting, meet and greet, exchange business cards, and hopefully, do some business.

Easier said than done, right? Well, here are some ideas on how to break into a conversation at a network meeting.

 

Business networking - Breaking into a network group with 1 person

One of the most difficult things you’ll ever do is walk up to an unknown person and strike up a conversation. At least, that’s what you might think. However, if it’s one person, it’s by far the easier configurations to start up a conversation with. They are on their own probably because they feel slightly uncomfortable or don’t know any of the new faces and so, by you approaching them not only will that be welcoming, but the person will appreciate and remember you for the extra effort you put in by making them feel at ease.

A two person situation is slightly different and can be a difficult configuration to break into. By this I mean, a more intelligent judgement needs to be applied to the situation by observing their body language and hand gestures. Observe the pair before interjecting into their conversation.

If the pair are ’open networking’, meaning close together but facing openly to the rest of the room they are indeed ready to engage in conversation with other people. You may walk up to the pair with a smile and say hello.

Business networking - Breaking into a network group with 2 people

Do not attempt to approach the pair if they are face to face and in deep conversation. You will know they are in deep conversation by their 100% focus on the conversation at hand rather than looking over the shoulder or starring out into the room. The other sure tell sign to not approach is when you see the pair immersed in a conversation, standing close together and facing away from the open room whereby you get no eye contact and no real feeling of invitation. The third reason you wouldn’t want to approach, or if you did, approach with caution is if you see the pair talking on the outer peripheral of the room. By this, you will know they are subconsciously disjointing themselves from the rest of the room.

Still on the pairing conversation rules – If you’re a regular networker at one of your business network groups, you may find someone you know well conversing with someone whom you don’t know. So what can you do?

It goes without saying, although you may know one of them, you don’t approach the pair if they are in deep conversation. Refrain from even trying to get acknowledgement from the person you know as your chance to converse with the respective person will come later. If the colleague you know glances over and acknowledges you then you may do the same as this might indicate an invitation to join them.

Entering a three way conversation or three people group, I would say is just as easy as approaching an individual. At least for me. For one thing, you are probably not going to interrupt by approaching them and secondly, they are most likely open to networking with other professions.

Business networking - Breaking into a conversation with 3 people

However, you still got to be cautious when joining. Don’t just walk in on an ongoing conversation, but instead wait for a break and then approach. This is beneficial for two reasons; firstly, not having to join in on a discussion that you may not be knowledgable about and secondly, the introductions are more likely to be focused and uninterrupted.

When you move into groups of four or more, it is highly unlikely that they are having a private conversation and so, it is much easier to join larger groups. So, we know the benefit of a larger group is the fact that they are easier join, but there also comes a negative… it’s much more difficult to get to know each person really well in comparison to networking with individuals or pairs.

There is another benefit to joining and conversing in larger groups. You get to scope out the people you want to talk to in the coming weeks and at the same time, you also get the opportunity to make yourself visible in front of many people instantly.

An aspect of larger groups is that you may not get to connect with everyone in that circle, but don’t worry, you will get to meet them over time during your attendance.

Business networking - Breaking into a group conversation

It doesn’t matter what kind of network group you attend, the likelihood of such formations above will occur and you will need to persevere in order to make yourself known within the group. At each instance, prioritise your entry point and be aware of how you conduct yourself so as not to steal the limelight or reflect a negative complex. Above all, be proactive, be a good listener and have fun!

Can you share other tips and tricks you have experienced during networking? Perhaps, you have a fantastic entry line that gets your conversations going?

Author: Shameer Shah

Founder at EyeWitness. Co-Founder at CreativeServicesGuide.com. Creative. Blogger. Techie. Grew up in Kenya. Lived in Washington DC & now based in London.

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  • http://twitter.com/FrenchCampsites BestFrenchCampsites

    Interesting !! But also maybe there should be advice for people who have come to open meetings and then proceed to have private intense conversations …. maybe they should have scheduled that for another time ! I’m thinking now of a situation where I had to take an important message to someone and had to interrupt a conversation to pass it on. It was important only for them that they received the message – and not particularly for me ….very annoying when people are focussed on one another and not picking up signals from the rest of the room ! (although I must add that this was in a different situation , not a networking meeting and also I had somewhere else I had to get to in a limited time hence the necessity to have to interrupt – it wasnt by choice !)

    • http://www.businessbanter.com/ Shameer Shah

      Thanks for your comments. I can totally understand your frustration when an urgent situation would arise and when during an ‘open networking’ event people are ‘closed networking’. If, as in your case, the message was important then dive right in by excusing yourself and making your entry and delivering the message. The person in question could appreciate this more than the conversation he or she may be having. If not, the least they would do is to thank you for kindly delivering the urgent message.

  • connor

    Good grief, do people really need advice on how to spot people open / not open to conversation? Judging by responses, the answer is apparently “yes”: I can at last make sense of that which I had previously considered an oxymoron : “interpersonal skills”. If folks really do need advice on reading a room, maybe they need to look up from their i-phones a little more often. Oh, and here’s a real piece of advice that could save half those commenting a small fortune : stay away from poker games.

    • http://www.myvideopress.com/ Shameer Shah

      Thanks Connor. You’d be very surprised how many people are novices at networking through no fault of their own. I have seen many networkers who are at it all the time, but achieve nothing simply because of their ‘style’, shyness and inexperience. The questions is ‘breaking into a conversation’ can be a difficult task for some!

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  • Darren

    I have been putting off attending networking meetings all of last year because I am naturally quite shy when I am in a room full of strangers. Once I am comfortable my other problem is I then talk too much. I am determined that in the New Year I am going to find a networking meeting and go and try out some of these useful tips.

    • http://www.ewpa.co.uk Shameer Shah

      Thanks Darren. I would have to say “get involved in networking right away”. Now’s your opportunity to start with the festive networking with friends and family, and in the new year extend it to professional network groups. It’s not easy making yourself visible and credible within new groups, but we all have to start somewhere. Attend regularly and be yourself! Good luck :)

  • http://lironeglikman.com LironE

    Great article Shameer! You tapped into a very important topic that requires one to use several skills: Reading others body language, intelligent judgment of each situation as you said, knowing what to say, who to approach and timing. Your great article made it easier to analyze these kinds of situations.

    Since you are not able to get to know everyone at each event you attend, I will also add how important it is to set goals before the event and decide in advance (as much as you can) who you want to make contact with. You may research in advance who will attend the event or set your “targets” at the event itself.

    The point is to get as focused as possible on the right people for you, that can help you in reaching your current goals. Then, you’ll know better which conversations you should put your efforts in :)

    Waiting for your next post,
    Thank you!
    Lirone :)

    • http://www.ewpa.co.uk Shameer Shah

      Thank you very much Lirone! Thanks for sharing the love all the way from Sydney :)

      I can see you’re very passionate about Networking, and with all that love comes amazing experience. You’re right about setting goals before you attend a networking event. It is the goal setting that will advance you into getting what you really want out of networking within that group. It absolutely goes without saying that one must research the network and its attendees before actually attending.

      I think, reviewing your results immediately after the networking sessions is also a necessary step into what may become a great network for you. Whether it’s checking into the business cards received, what message you picked up on out of the group in general, how you could help the individuals you spoke to and finally, is there something more you can do to increase your visibility and credibility.

      Some wonderful tips Lirone! :)

  • Mr Rees

    That’s a great post. Thanks for demystifying what can be a challenging scenario for many people. I once tried to join 2 people at a network meeting who were in conversation, but didn’t look too private. I stood there waiting to jump in for about 20 secs and not once did they look at me. Embarrassment set in and I quietly walked away! Never again.

    Here you have clearly outlined the rules of engagement! Thanks again Shameer.

    • http://www.ewpa.co.uk Shameer Shah

      Thank you :) I like ‘embarrassment set in’! Haven’t we all been in that situation. One learns very quickly when you actively network.

  • http://twitter.com/design58 Mark Longbottom (@design58)

    Interesting stuff, I’d suggest never go to any network meeting with the hope or goal of getting work. Too many people do and then spend all their time racing around grabbing and giving business cards out. Go with one thing on your mind and that’s everyone else, what they do and how you can help share that information with the people you know. After all we all have friends, we all trust and respect their judgement, and so we will share the good stuff with them.

    Simple really, act sensibly and be yourself, don’t create a personality, odd how many business people have so many problems with human interaction. Yet everyone else has got it sussed becasue they’re not trying so hard :)

    • http://www.ewpa.co.uk Shameer Shah

      Too many people are hunters when they really don’t need to be. Farming brings far better results over a longer period of time. As you say, make the person you’re networking with No 1 as they are the most important in that time frame. Remember Visibility, Credibility & Profitability!

  • http://www.tacticalsalestraining.co.uk Marius Fermi

    Great topic here Sam! We host a fair number of networking events throughout the year and when you take the time to look around it becomes pretty obvious who has what intentions and who is struggling to get involved.

    I like how you mentioned about people in deep conversion and approaching with caution – not only does it save a lot of awkwardness but it also stops you from wasting your valuable and limited time at the event.

    Great stuff!

    • http://www.ewpa.co.uk Shameer Shah

      Thank you Marius! Observation is key to networking whether business or social. By observing you can structure your networking efforts and apply yourself where you give and receive the most benefit.

  • http://twitter.com/kelsomarketing Louise Walker (@kelsomarketing)

    Great advice – and the images really help too. Networking doesn’t come naturally to a lot of us and these tips are a really good reminder of how you can be more confident in your approach by watching body language. I will try and put them into practice tomorrow at my BNI meeting instead of hiding behind the coffee pot!!

    • http://www.ewpa.co.uk Shameer Shah

      Thank you very much Louise. I’m glad the post has inspired you for your next networking meeting. Body language is indeed very important especially, when you’re observing from the ‘outside’ in an effort to get ‘inside’. Enjoy your BNI meet up tomorrow!

  • http://www.centraldirectmail.com Neil Giller

    Yet again another great blog Sam! Its not always easy to get yourself into a group of people talking whilst networking or when at a party, mainly through fear of rejection. That said no one want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so be bold and be brave when joining a conversation. Have something interesting to say, be courteous and don’t interrupt. Someone once said to me if you don’t talk to people and join conversations when networking or at a party you wont get to know if they can end up being you next best client or friend. So why not push all your worries and barriers to one side, and wear a smile:-)

    • http://www.ewpa.co.uk Shameer Shah

      Thank you for your kind comments Neil. We obviously greatly believe in networking as it is still one of the main marketing channels for business. To those people who feel timid and shy when networking, I say… don’t. There’s lots of people in a similar position, but as we say practice makes perfect. Set up a networking goal and go for it!